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FUNNY Jokes
1.What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
They both have little boys' underwear half-off.
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2.A young boy asks his Priest if God is a man or a woman.
The Priest decides to tease the boy and answers that God is both.
The boy then asks if God is black or white. Again the answer is both.
Next question, is God gay or straight. Once more the answer is both.
The boy then asks "Father, is Michael Jackson God??"
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3.The divorce judge asked little Johnny which parent he wanted to live with. Little Johnny replied, "Not my daddy, he beats me...Not my mommy, either; she beats me, too." Little Johnny thought for a minute, then exclaimed, "I know! I want to live with the Oregon State Beavers! They don't beat anybody!"
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4.A first grade teacher explains to her class that she's a Oregon State Beaver fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're Beaver fans, too. Not really knowing what a Beaver fan is but wanting to be just like their teacher, the students launch their hands into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception: A girl named Lucy doesn't go along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she's decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Beaver fan," Lucy says.
"Then what are you?" asks the teacher.
"Why, I'm proud to be a Oregon Duck ," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she's a Duck Fan. "Well, my mom and dad are Duck fans, so I'm a Duck fan, too."
The teacher is now very angry. "That's no reason!" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
Lucy pauses, then smiles. "Why, then," Lucy says, "I'd be a Beaver fan."
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Mike Tyson's Computer
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?
It has two bytes and no memory.
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Sexual Olympics
A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze.
"Silver," she said.
"Why not gold?"
"Because I want you to come second for once!"
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Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
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Men Are Like Toilets
Men are like toilets -- either they're taken, or full of crap!
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Annoying Boy on Bus
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
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